


Perfect Blood

by Qem



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, Crack Pairing, Humor, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-16
Updated: 2006-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qem/pseuds/Qem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A semi-serious attempt at crack, with a tendency to get caught up in pointless moments. Flea demons can get just about everywhere. Flea demon's priorities are not necessarily Qem's priorities. <i>Made the author have trouble sleeping at night.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Blood

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Perfect Blood  
>  **Author's Name:** Qem  
>  **Written For:** Geofount  
>  **Pairing or Character:**  
>  Requested: Hojo/Myouga  
> Also involves: Inuyasha/Kagome, Myouga suspiciously obsessed with Inuyasha. oO;  
>  **Rating:** M15+  
>  Spoiler Warnings: None.  
>  **Warnings:** Slash. Duh. A semi-serious attempt at crack, with a tendency to get caught up in pointless moments. Flea demons can get just about everywhere. Flea demon's priorities are not necessarily Qem's priorities. _Made the author have trouble sleeping at night._  
>  Used a non-Japanese term, Gremlins, fairly extensively. Didn't know of an equivalent, though is sure that it exists.  
>  **Author's Note:** My requested pairings were "Hojo/Myouga, Miroku / Kikyou, Inuyasha / Asagi from the 4th". Since I haven't seen the fourth movie at this point, the choice was obvious. .  
>  Thanks to nelsonbannaba for beta'ing.

**Title:** Perfect Blood  
 **Author's Name:** Qem  
 **Written For:** Geofount  
 **Pairing or Character:**  
Requested: Hojo/Myouga  
Also involves: Inuyasha/Kagome, Myouga suspiciously obsessed with Inuyasha. oO;  
 **Rating:** M15+  
Spoiler Warnings: None.  
 **Warnings:** Slash. Duh. A semi-serious attempt at crack, with a tendency to get caught up in pointless moments. Flea demons can get just about everywhere. Flea demon's priorities are not necessarily Qem's priorities. _Made the author have trouble sleeping at night._  
Used a non-Japanese term, Gremlins, fairly extensively. Didn't know of an equivalent, though is sure that it exists.  
 **Author's Note:** My requested pairings were "Hojo/Myouga, Miroku / Kikyou, Inuyasha / Asagi from the 4th". Since I haven't seen the fourth movie at this point, the choice was obvious. .  
Thanks to nelsonbannaba for beta'ing.

No smut really, except in my head. Flea demon smut is scary.

* * *

-Hidden Obsession-  
Inuyasha and the others in his group had always thought themselves quick to realise when the flea demon was among them.

Actually, they weren't.

It wasn't simply the cases were Kagome had obliviously run him over, nor the times when he had visited them while they were sleeping and left again before they had realised he was there.

The reality was this; Myouga was with them quite a bit more than what they would have expected. Or felt comfortable with. Especially for a certain individual, who prided himself on his nose and knowing who was about.

Myouga was a lot better at hiding than what many people had given him credit for. Especially amongst his favourite flavour; dog demons. He had long ago learned of their strengths and weaknesses - he knew how to avoid triggering their senses. The truth was that Inuyasha never realized the flea demon was upon him, until Myouga chose to make his presence known.

Of course, while dogs, in general had the most delicious blood in the world, they were by no means the only delicious race, also not all dog demons blood quality was the same. Inuyasha's father, now there was a mighty demon. His blood literally dripped with power. It was ambrosia. But as for the mongrels that guarded one of the false tombs for the demon lord... Feh. They were meagre takings.

It was something Myouga often pondered to himself, the powerful always did seem to have superior blood. The lady Izayoi had been a princess among her people, her blood had been among the finest he had ever tasted among the humans. It was clearly superior to the common soldiers that had guarded her household, just as those soldiers had been superior to the rabble that live in the village. Clearly a matter of hierarchy.

Two outstanding individuals, the result of their love; Inuyasha, an individual who carried a mixture of their blood, a curious combination; at first somewhat of an acquired taste, but now definitely amongst Myouga's all time favourites. Inuyasha was an individual who carried his parents' legacy and pride. Myouga prided himself on his relationship to Inuyasha through his parents; and delighted in thinking that he was keeping an eye on Inuyasha.

Of course there was only a limited amount a little flea demon could do, but still Myouga aided when it was safe to do so. After all, if anything were to happen to Myouga; well then he certainly wouldn't be able to continue to look out for Inuyasha, could he?

Myouga had long ago found, this perfect little niche in the hanyou's clothing, which was just so warm and comfortable - _perfect_ for sleeping. Shifting his youkai slightly this way, masking his scent with Inuyasha's, the flea demon was safe from being spotted by anyone.

Of course, changing it so that when he was discovered, so that he was blasting his youkai and excreting pheromones, also helped lull the hanyou (and other beings) senses, since they became confident that they could recognize the crafty flea-demons presence.

Of course, despite the near-constant spying, Myouga would _never_ betray Inuyasha-sama's trust. Myouga was always very careful. If the situation looked sensitive, Myouga never failed to ensure that Inuyasha had his privacy, since the hanyou seemed rather keen on that human woman who had those lovely long legs that she vaunted shamelessly.

It was such a shame though, since Myouga enjoyed the warm, comforting presence of Inuyasha's youkai and he missed the warm tangy mixture of Inuyasha's blood. More often these days his only chance to taste was in his obvious ploys to gain Inuyasha's attention, rather than the sly nibbling at an open wound. This was especially difficult when he had become used to, the regular buffet provided by Inuyasha's 50 years of sleep.

It was with all of this in mind, that when spying the sleeping hanyou, he felt the irresistible urge to curl up once more in that long familiar fold, and hide amongst the clothing of the unaware half-demon. After all, Inuyasha-sama, surely wouldn't want to be disturbed when he was sleeping. The lose grip he had upon his sword spoke clearly of his worries and need to be ready for action whenever it occurred. The hanyou clearly needed rest.

-Snooze-

Myouga woke to an oppressive presence trying to pull him away from Inuyasha. It was trying to repel Myouga and the only reason why it was failing at this task was due to the warm, fuzzy, red safety net that was Inuyasha's clothing. Fortunately the trusty fire-rat's robe proved superior to this... force, what ever it was. Abruptly, the pressure ended and Myouga in shock let go and slipped out, landing on cold hard stone, his eyes seeing the familiar red cloth bouncing upwards.

Disorientated and dizzy, Myouga decided that it was clearly time for breakfast. The high stone walls gave him some trouble, but eventually he made his way out of the well.

It appeared he was in some dark abandoned house. Strange, why would Inuyasha-sama come in here? The air was dank and dusty; there was an ingrained scent of some animal.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Up the stairs, revealing a pretty wealthy looking house. Bounce, bounce, bounce. The air smelt strange and unclean. Naraku? But there was no taint of evil... Bounce, bounce, bounce. It was strange though; the building's structure seemed rather unfamiliar.

Hmm; a human up ahead was waiting patiently at the door. Bounce, walk, walk, walk. Climb, crawl, up past hard leather shoes and woollen socks, onto smooth skin.

"Hojo-san! I'm sorry, but Kagome just left a few minuets ago, do you want me to take a message?"

Hojo, did not immediately reply, having first needing to react with an "ai!" accompanied by a slight shaking of his leg.

"I beg your pardon Higurashi-san, something bit me."

The words that the boy spoke next, Myouga did not hear. He was holding tightly on to the cloth of the pants, quivering with little myougasms. This blood! It was the best! It was delicious! The most delicious blood he had ever tasted from a human! He needed... more.

Myouga held tightly onto the pants leg as Hojo-kun moved away.

-Poor Hojo-kun-

The next couple of days were exceedingly awkward for Hojo. He seemed to have attracted fleas; the bites kept appearing on his legs. Baths, showers, mint; nothing seemed to work. It was highly embarrassing when he had to go swimming for sports. To top it off, there seemed to be a constant presence watching him. Most disconcerting. Especially when he was having... Well his private time.

Hojo-kun was giving _great_ thought to the matter when he realized one little thing. The biting had started when he was at Kagome's shrine. Kagome, the poor girl who was always away sick.

Hojo smacked his right fist into his open left hand. Ah ha! The matter appeared clear. It was obviously gremlins. Clearly Kagome had been under an attack of gremlins that had been undermining her health. One of those gremlins that had been attacking Kagome had escaped to him. If he could find a way to deal with this monstrosity, then he could find a cure for Kagome and ensure that she would be okay.

Of course Kagome lived in a shrine, so she, or at least her family, had probably already tried the traditional exorcism methods.

Hojo-kun decided to experiment.

**Day 1**  
Hojo-kun started wearing talismans and items reputed for good luck.

Unfortunately one of talismans became stuck to a door frame when Hojo-kun jumped startled by _yet another one of the bites_. Hojo-kun still wasn't quite sure how he managed to get free of the frame, it appeared the string broke. This was quite lucky for him, since a rather boisterous person was coming along and it really wouldn't have born well for Hojo-kun if he had still been stuck on that door when they decided to open it.

**Day 2**  
Hojo-kun decided to experiment with spicy food. And garlic, though he knew that scientifically by the time it reached his blood stream, it would have simply been converted into energy. Since the _thing_ , whatever it was, seemed to be feasting upon him, it seemed possible that eating strange food, might convince it to go away.

Still the restaurant did seem rather dodgy.

As Hojo-kun staggered home, it seemed that the food didn't agree with him either.

**Day 3**  
Hojo-kun tried wearing flea collars under his socks and around his arms.

He also found out that the slightly dodgy restaurant had been closed down for cases of food poisoning and that he was lucky to not be in hospital right now. Hojo decided that, the lucky charms must have been concentrating on _that_ , rather than the gremlin issue.

He noted down in his scientific journal he was keeping about his ailment; that the flea collars didn't work. That and his cousin found them when she tricked him into taking off his jacket. Hojo-kun didn't think she would be letting him forget any time soon.

**Day 4**  
Hojo sagged wearily. He had already known that swimming would not drive the curse away; so since it didn't seem to be bothered by external influences to his body; he had come to the disturbing conclusion that perhaps this meant that it was inside of him. The solution to this problem might be that he could sweat it out.

After an incredibly long day at the gym; and being driven out of the sauna by one of the owners since he was "...too young to spend so much time in the sauna."

The result was that he was so exhausted he didn't even twitch when the bite came again.

**Day 5**  
Hojo was out of ideas. He was so tired from the previous four days of experimenting and trying to get rid of the little bugger that he was not paying as much attention to what was going around him as normal, preferring instead to concentrate on keeping one foot in front of the other.

Consequently he did something that every boy in the school knew not to do.

He bumped into Hitori. Outside. Where there were no ready witnesses.

Hitori was for a Japanese boy, gigantic. He was also extremely well muscled. He also had a volatile and violent temper. He technically wasn't supposed to go to this school any more, but his mother was being courted by the principle.

The last time Hojo had crossed Hitori's path, he had been fortunate in that Kagome-chan had turned up, telling him that a teacher was looking for him. There was no Kagome-chan to rescue him this time round.

Hojo decided to just pray that at the very least this would get rid of the gremlin, scaring it off. Silver lining to every cloud, right?

Hitori grunted and took a swing, ignoring Hojo's attempts to block, punching him in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

Hitori was pulling his leg back, when suddenly Hitori paused and twitched, overbalancing. The gremlin! Hojo was saved!

Hojo used that moment to pick himself up and run like hell.

That night, when Hojo was staring mournfully into the mirror at the bruise on his face, he felt the familiar nip at his leg. But he said and did nothing.

It was when he was half asleep that night, when he thought he heard an old man's voice speak, in a mournful droned out tone. "You're even harder to keep an eye on than Inuyasha-sama."

Did he hear a voice? But surely there was no one in the room? Other than the gremlin. Could the gremlin be some sort of a guardian angel? Old in mind, invisible (and probably young) in body... Dedicated to helping to look after people?

Had the gremlin really done anything so bad? Besides the nips, Hojo recounting the events where he should have been hurt, yet seemed to have come out better off than he would have normally.

It was an uneasy sleep that Hojo-kun fell into.

**Day 6**  
Hojo-kun, was pleasantly surprised that morning when he awoke to find that the bruising which had shown signs of being impressively colourful, was instead a pale slither of its former self and likely to disappear in the next day of too. Hojo was happy about this, as it meant less embarrassment for him, if he was to be caught without his shirt. It would mean less pain, as well, since he didn't need to be cautious about not touching the bruise. However, there was also a small red flea bite mark in the corner that caused his left eye to twitch slightly. Still he was exhausted from the long week and decided to concentrate on behaving in an exceedingly cautious manner when he went into school that day.

He didn't think that he minded the gremlin so much after all. After weighing up its actions, he had decided that it did indeed seem to be more of a guardian angel, helping him to keep himself out of trouble. Though, one could also argue that he wouldn't have been in that trouble if the gremlin hadn't kept attacking him.

Kagome was at school again. She had been for all of last week, which was surprising. Hojo-kun wasn't surprised, that when school finished, with Eri and Yuka playing match makers, dragged Kagome over to say hello. Arimi commented that Hojo-kun looked tired and Kagome nodded her agreement, her eyes showing sympathy,although she rushed off shortly afterwards.

That night Hojo noticed that there were no new bites. Shrugging it off as strange, he fell sleep and his dreams were filled with vampires.

**Day 7**  
Still no bites. Hojo almost missed the little nips. Things had seemed less organized that morning, to his surprise he found himself running late for the bus. Kagome wasn't at school. Hojo wasn't sure if that was a coincidence, especially since the bites had stopped, but he decided that just to be on the safe side he'd avoid Kagome in the future. Just in case.  
Epilogue:

"Yo Myouga!" Toutousai greeted his old friend. "Shouga was about again, are you ever going to marry the old girl?"

"Ah no! Not when there is so much beauty to taste and admire." Myouga answered with a wink.


End file.
